Taking the piss out of politics

[Grumpytim]

With the current crop of world politico's I'd favor the Italian practice of defenestration. Cures 99% of all known politico twats.

[slinger]

One final comment on the above - As Farage is currently crowing about the apparent apology from Nat West, owners of Coutts, perhaps it's about time that we - in the spirit of "doing the right thing" - received an apology from the frog-faced fuckwit for all the lies he told about Brexit, and pretty much every other pie the agitating fascist nicotine stained amphibian wank-sock has his dirty little finger in.

For the hard of understanding - I cannot abide the creature who somehow manages to look like an ailing amphibian, yet embrace the personality of an enraged poisonous reptile. I'd call him a cunt, but he lacks both the depth and the warmth, to carry that description off.

Not a fan then?

Politicians seem to have an absolute immunity from responsibility, get it wrong and you can retire on a nice pension or you can resign, sit it out for a few years then come back and have another go. If politicians went to prison when their ideology proved wrong they might not be quite so keen to play around with things they don’t understand.

I couldn't agree more, Geoff. The thing is we already have laws, and a system of checks and balances to ensure that politicians don't behave as some sort of venal, thriving, immoral kakistocracy, but nobody seems bothered about enforcing them, while, in the meantime, this government is slowly and carefully going about dismantling them.

[slinger]

One of my better efforts I thought.

[Lindsayt]

David Cameron to become the next leader of the Conservative party?

[CN211276]

David Cameron to become the next leader of the Conservative party?

It's a desperate move.

You might call it a poke in a pig...

[Grumpytim]

David Cameron to become the next leader of the Conservative party?

It's a desperate move.

You might call it a poke in a pig...

And yet somehow the country elected him, and then Boris. Democracy really needs to have a long hard think about what it's been doing recently...

[savvypaul]

David Cameron to become the next leader of the Conservative party?

It's a desperate move.

You might call it a poke in a pig...

And yet somehow the country elected him, and then Boris. Democracy really needs to have a long hard think about what it's been doing recently...

The country? First past the post - Johnson won an 80 seat majority with 43.6% of the popular vote.

I hope that people who want the Tories out will vote tactically in '24.

[Grumpytim]

We can indeed hope and pray, I know, especially at our age that it's wrong to wish your life away, but I really can't wait for the next election.

[slinger]

Ding-Dong, the witch(es) is/are dead.

Thérèse Coffey (a.k.a. "Nellie the Effluent)", Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs of the United Kingdom, has been sacked ...errr, sorry, I obviously mean "resigned", ...in the middle of a cabinet reshuffle.
Is there a hint of irony in her statement?

"Having been a minister since July 2014, and having served ALL FIVE Conservative prime ministers, I consider it is now the right time to step back from government."

Cruella Braverman has (finally) been sacked by Sunak, and James Cleverly, the man whose name is an irony so thick you could cut it with a knife, is our new Home Secretary.

Let's be real, Cleverly as Home Secretary is like asking a goldfish to do a Sudoku puzzle – expect a lot of aimless circling and not much progress. He's got the Rwanda decision coming up in short order too.

David Cameron (not even an MP, he retired 7 years ago but has been appointed to The Lords so he can take the job ) is welcomed back to take Cleverly's post as Foreign Secretary.

Cameron, you may remember lobbied to get Greensill loans from the Taxpayer while they were paying him £1m a year for 25 days of ‘work’.
Less than a year after securing more than £5bn from the taxpayer they went bankrupt, but not before Cameron had sold his shares and made another £7m. He's also the complete and utter cowardly bastard who saddled us with Brexit.

As an unnamed Tory MP put it, in this WhatsApp message quoted by Sky's Sophie Ridge...

"WTAF!!!! He had to resign because he failed to standup (sic) to the EU and is completely gutless, he won't be able to address the HOC at questions while we are actually witnessing two major conflicts and finally, he is an unelected FS appointed by an unelected PM. Let's see how this one plays out....."

It has been speculated that in light of David Cameron's "resurrection" The Ghost of Edward Heath will become Secretary for Insulting the Electorate's Intelligence, and Margaret Thatcher's reanimated corpse will become Conservative Party Chairman and Leader of the
F̶o̶u̶r̶t̶h̶ R̶e̶i̶c̶h̶ ...I mean "The House".

Mark Francois is still a nobody, ably assisted in that post by both Michael Fabricant and Michael Fabricant's hair, which surely must be a separate entity by now.

The Prime Miniature himself - Rishi Sunak - is expected to announce later today whether he's sacked himself.

The Chancellor, and well-known rhyming slang expression, Jeremy Hunt has been replaced by ...oh bollocks, it's still Jeremy Hunt.

Rachel Maclean said she was "asked to stand down" as housing minister - the SIXTH minister to the role in the last three years.
Long-serving Schools Minister Nick Gibb announced he was resigning and would step down as an MP at the next election, while Neil O'Brien said he had left his role as health minister.

Will Quince has also resigned from the Department of Health and Social Care, while Jesse Norman has left his role as a transport minister.

[A LITTLE LATER]
We've now got a new health secretary - Victoria Atkins, who is replacing Steve Barclay who has been confirmed as the new environment secretary, do keep up).

Atkins had been the financial secretary to the Treasury - a post she's held since Sunak took office last October.
Atkins takes on the role at the end of a year filled with doctors striking over a still-unresolved pay row with the government.

[LATER STILL]
Oh, BUGGER!
I was hoping, when it was reported that Laura Trott (MP for Sevenoaks) was seen entering Number 10, she was going to be sacked. The daft sod has actually PROMOTED the annoying blonde waste of space.

"In the past few minutes, Laura Trott has been appointed chief secretary to the Treasury - a role that had been held by Tory MP John Glen.
It's the second-most senior post in the Treasury, after the chancellor.
Until today, Trott was Rishi Sunak's pensions minister. We haven't yet heard what Trott's move means for Glen."

It makes me wonder who will take over at Pensions so they can take the blame for yet again attempting to circumvent the "triple lock" next year.

[AND FINALLY]
Esther McVague is reported to have been tasked with leading the government’s anti-woke agenda, acting as a “common-sense tsar”.
Who says Sunak doesn't have a sense of humour?

Just another day in paradise, voters. #GTTO

[Daniel Quinn]

David Cameron given 1 of the 3 prestigious and powerful jobs in politics .

This thread should be retired as it can be as funny as the reality that politics as now descended to .