Taking the piss out of politics

[TroutFisher]

Michael Gove, the extremist.

https://bylinetimes.com/2024/03/14/mich ... extremist/

That's a very good summing up of Gove, and it doesn't even mention his Coke habit.

……..or his part in Johnson’s illegal forced prorogation of Parliament.

[Lindsayt]

One only has to look at history to see what can happen when the government starts setting the agenda on what's extreme:

Neroist Rome: anyone believing in Christianity
Medieval Europe: anyone not believing in the papist version of Christianity
Stalinist Soviet Union: people that exercise their sense of humour by making jokes at the expense of the socialist regime
Potist Cambodia: buddhist monks
Reaganist America: people that like smoking pot
Putinist Russia: people that think that Russia is at war with Ukraine, or that the conflict is a bad idea

[slinger]

I wonder if the conversation went anything like this...


Look, chaps, I've made a bit of a cock-up, no pun intended. I was idly flicking through this thing called Grindr, on my portable telephone, when I came across a total stranger who seemed nice. Anyway, we exchanged details, and a photograph of my penis, (known as a "dick pic" I'm led to believe), and that sort of thing, and ...well ...long story short, he turned out to be a bit of a rum cove who threatened to expose me, and not in a good way.

Well, honestly, what's a chap to do?

Obviously, I immediately furnished him with the details of a few chums, several of whom were MPs, and of their staff members. Oh, and a political journalist chappie. Does that last one count? I understand several of them sent him their dick pics too when he feigned interest in them.

As that nice Treasury minister Gareth Davies said, the reports of this sexting spearfishing honeytrap scam thingy were "extremely troubling". Imagine. There really are people - and obviously, they're bally foreigners - who would do such a thing to members of His Majesty's Government. One could have knocked one down with a gimp mask when one realised what was actually happening, and that this nice “Charlie” fellow, who I'd only just met, wasn't actually in love with me ...or, sadly, my penis.

That nice Mr Davies though appears to have thrown his support behind me, (ooh-err Matron) and he told everyone, "He is continuing as a Conservative MP and it's right that there's an investigation into what happened. He's rightly apologised, and, as I say, that's a matter for Will Wragg and the party generally.

“Will has recognised the seriousness and apologised. People do make mistakes, of course they do.”

See, as Nanny always told me, and demonstrated on occasion, "If you say sorry, and look sufficiently obsequious, your sins will be washed away by a golden shower of our Lord's love".

The Chancellor, Jeremy Hunt appeared to give me his support too, describing my apology as “courageous and fulsome”. I thank you, Nanny, in absentia, wherever you are. I hope that by now you have at least been released on license.

Even Labour’s shadow chancellor, Rachel Reeves, only said the claims were “incredibly concerning,” and didn't call for my sacking or anything, so maybe things aren't as bad as some people are making out.

Needless to say though, this isn't the end of it, and in my capacity as vice-chairman of the 1922 Committee, I shall be giving myself a stiff talking to.

A little update: Apparently, at least six people - four officials working for MPs, a political journalist and one senior Labour MP - had been contacted by an unknown number detailing prior meetings with politicians in efforts to acquire personal or sensitive information, although we're still not sure if the journalist chap counts. The Times seems to think I sent Charlie the details of "several" MPs, but that's only hearsay because it's what I told them.

That awful Birminghamish? Birminghamian? - or whatever they call people from that part of the deprived bit of England - Labour woman, Jess Phillips, questioned my judgement; dashed cheek. She wrote on X: “I'm at a genuine loss, who when approached by a total stranger sends them nude images, when they are not an MP, let alone when they are.” Obviously, she's just a jealous old trout who has never been asked for a dick pic in her life.

Sir Lindsay has urged anyone with information to “come forward … and share the details and any concerns.” Which was nice of him. Gromit should fetch him some extra Wensleydale for that.

Anyway, Much Ado About Nothing, as the Bard had it. I'm off, back to work. Shoulder to the wheel, nose to the grindstone, etc. That £91,346.00 isn't going to earn itself. Ha ha. Thought you'd like that. Just my little joke. It obviously DOES earn itself.

p.s.
Great tip. I've just discovered that "digital communication" doesn't mean running one's fingers down another chap's thigh in a club ...or the House of Commons Bar. Hope that proves useful. One lives to serve.

uk.yahoo.com/news/william-wragg-sexting-scam-tory-mp-083330911.html

[Grumpytim]

It's so reassuring to see that through thick and thin he still has the Tory Whip, can't think of a better person to weild it.

A 'fullsome' apology does the trick apparently, if only Hitler, Goebels, Himmler, West,etc etc had thought of making a 'fullsome' apology, where would they be now?