Jokes & Funnies

[TheMarlin]

[TheMarlin]

[TheMarlin]

[slinger]

A Yorkshireman goes to the vet. He says his cat is poorly.
Vet asks ‘Is it a Tom’?
"Nay", says the bloke, "it's in t' car".

[howardc1951]

In America an elderly driver crashes into the back of another car. The driver is furious and tells the old man he wants $10000 now or he'll beat him to a pulp. The old man says that he doesn't have that sort of money but he'll phone his son. "He trains dolphins and he'll know what to do". When the son answers the other man grabs the phone and yells at the son "Listen dolphin guy. Your old man crashed into my car and if I don't get $10000 I'm going to beat him and you into a pulp.". The son tells him he's on his way. 10 minutes later a jeep pulls up at the accident scene, the son gets out and beats up the other driver. The son then turns to his dad and says "Dad, for the last time . I train seals, navy seals, not dolphins!"

[Lindsayt]

An elderly American man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive European sports car. Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man. He yells, "Look what you did to my car! You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"

"Oh my…" the old man said nervously. "I don't have that kind of money. Let me call my son,” he said with hope. “He trains dolphins and he will know what to do."

"Dolphins!" the other driver huffed while rolling his eyes.

The old man pulled out his phone and dialled his son, and just as his son answered, the irate bully snatched the phone away from the old man.

"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh?” The irate man yelled, “Well, your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need TEN GRAND right now, or I'm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp!"

"I'll be there in 10 minutes." says the voice calmly on the other end.

Exactly 10 minutes later, a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.

When he'd finished, he walked over to his father and said, "For the last time Dad, I train Seals… Navy Seals. NOT dolphins!”

Not sure if I prefer the verbose or the concise version of this joke.

I suppose with a thread this long, we're bound to get the odd bit of repetition...

[TheMarlin]

[TheMarlin]

[TheMarlin]

[TheMarlin]