The legal departments of world-leading audio manufacturers Linn and Naim are trying to bring an action against a virus for various infringements of patents and copyright.
For several years the R&D sections of both have been jointly working together on a secret project based in a clandestine bunker in Wuhan, China and inspired by visionary business-guru D. Trump, to create a product that will eventually affect every person on the planet Earth. They called it the COVID-19 all-purpose music streamer.
Firstly they made it deliberately ugly - so that those seeing it for the first time would feel a bit queasy. Then the price was set so high that people would get a sore throat from shouting 'HOW MUCH?' in stunned amazement. Getting one home and turning it on should then result in severe and prolonged headaches requiring large doses of paracetamol for at least the first 2 weeks. And then a period of exhaustion and recuperation at the realisation of what this piece of junk has cost you.
The sneaky bit is that applying Social Media peer-pressure from the likes of Ivanka Trump and Kim Kardassian would mean that you were simply 'nobody' if you don't have one of these and they planned to start a huge publicity campaign where innocent bystanders would be forced to wear breathing masks until they could say 'I got it' - then they would have to shut themselves away at home in isolation. There was also the idea of a very clever marketing trick where a 5% discount will be offered upon presentation of 5 economy packs of toilet paper.
Luckily this device has never been launched on an unsuspecting world.
