A message of support

[slinger]

Thanks I'm not sure why I offloaded here but a problem shared and all that. It makes you take stock of your own life when bad things happen around you. There is so much pain and suffering in the world it makes me thankful for my good health and comfortable life.

I had a drink problem in the early 2000's when my parents both became ill at once. I didn't know how to cope with it except by blocking it out with alcohol. Years of serious drunkenness cumulated with me waking up in hospital and not knowing how I got there. My wonderful wife (girlfriend at the time) stuck by me and managed to bring me round eventually.

These days I don't drink through the week at all but come the weekend I am known to overdo it. I look forward to it and I know that is sad but I know how low you can go with alcohol, trust me.

[CycleCoach]

Thanks for sharing Stu. Feel free to let off steam on here whenever you feel it helps!

[CN211276]

Thanks for sharing Stu. Feel free to let off steam on here whenever you feel it helps!

+1
Certainly puts things in prespective.

[Vinyl-ant]

Dig out that lp12 and start buggering about with it stu
when the dark thoughts pop in, do everything and anything to shove them out. Doesn't matter what it is, whatever works. Go for a run, beat the crap out of a punching bag, play the loudest thrash metal as loud as you can stand, im sure you can think of things.

Diversion tactics work in the short term, I know this rather better than id like to, and recognising the negative thoughts for what they are, which is an insidious drain on your mental reserves is part one of dealing with them.

dont ever ever be ashamed to seek help from a professional if it gets too much.
Use places like rethink.

Believe me, you dont want to head down the path of bottling up, it will build and build and always come back and bite you on the arse, usually when life has kicked you right in the balls again and you cant take any more. You probably know this anyway

I've been there, and it changed me. I had to change for the people i care about.
Im a carer for my wife who has childhood onset bipolar disorder, and have looked right into every pit there is to look into. Ive pulled her out of those pits countless times, and myself on occasion. I did not like what i saw there.

When you look at a bottle and its very tempting, thats the time to divert yourself, but you already know this.
And again, use people like rethink. There is absolutely no shame in doing so, and they will listen to you with no judgement at all and help you if you get to the point where you cant cope.

Lp12 stu. Lp12.
Diverting yourself is step one. Take as many steps as you need to
Hope any of that helps
Cheers ant

[karatestu]

Excellent advice Ant, thanks for your comprehensive reply. I look forward to my boozy Friday and Saturday nights but that is as far as it goes. I never think about drinking through the week, ever. I think I have a lid on it but have a tendancy to get absolutely legless every once in a while.

Nobody ever taught me to use distractions it is just something I must have subconsciously found to work. Work helps sometimes but the more manual side of it finds me drifting in to the darkness. Kids are the best thing for lifting me. They are a shining light of life amongst so much misery and death.

Music is another mood lifter. Through covid I have been yearning for funk and disco. It dawned on me I was wanting to listen to happy uplifting music. It does the trick. Kicking the schiit out of my drum kit also helps but I have never been a very hard hitter, prefer funky grooves and odd time signatures.

I used counselling many years a go and it did help. I remember travelling all the way to Ilkley for the sessions which was an hour one way.

I would love to get the LP12 out and play some of my 500 records. Nowhere to put it just at present until I remove the chimney stack in our lounge. I can mess about with it at the farm though. There is a BIG audio to do list though I find diy audio quite exhilarating sometimes and it can lead to periods of manic activity where I can hardly keep up with myself. But often I can burn myself out and then need a rest whilst I consider chucking it all in the bin. Super happy with my bipole 5" plus four tweeter pod. It had to come good eventually.

Thanks for all the replies. This forum makes me feel at home and safe. I don't get that feeling anywhere else, everybody seem so angry, confrontational and supercilious. I wish Doc was still here

Currently listening to a bit of MFSB. Feeling ok and all my family are in the room.

[antonio66]

Very sorry to hear of your woes Stu, I do hope it's helped letting it out a bit on here, and think you have received some good advice. My experience is listening to music has helped when I've been down, drinks really isn't a solution. I do not have an answer, only stay strong and safe.

[CycleCoach]

You're at that age where you're caring for both the younger generation and the older generation. On top of that, you now have 'sibling stress'. That's a tough one.

Be kind to yourself. Good diet and staying off the booze will give you more energy , both physical and mental. Be realistic about what one man - even Karate Stu - can handle. Be kind to yourself.

[CycleCoach]

Some great, and I hope (for Stu) helpful replies on here: it occurred to me how important a safe and judgement free space to say your piece is - and that certainly seems to be what we've got here.

When it comes down to it, when you get to "a certain age" you will definitely have had to deal with some sort of mental disturbance at some point: either for yourself, as in my case, or with someone close to you.

By sharing with us, not only has Stu hopefully lifted a weight off his own shoulders, but also he's made me personally realise that it wasn't "just me" when I was dealing with stuff in the past. Thanks again Stu.

I haven't been on here for about three years but I'm glad to be back.

[CycleCoach]

We are glad you are back too This is my favourite forum by a long way.

I know I am not the only one with schiit going on. I am just glad my wife and children are healthy. Apart from a bulging disc in my back there is nowt wrong with me. It's just the rest of my family that is the problem.

Lews body dementia is the second most occurring type of dementia but you never hear about it, Alzhiemers and Parkinsons gets all the limelight. My mum's is vascular dementia (she also has MS) and is very slowly progressing. Lews body dementia is very much faster and if my sister has had it for four years then she might not have that long left. There is no NHS in Cyprus so I expect she will have to move back here to access free health care. I don't even know if she is capable of the move.

[CycleCoach]

This thread is turning in to somewhere where I can have a moan. Therapy . I hope nobody minds

Stress levels gone up recently (which I can do without) due to an agricultural boundary dispute which I have escalated through a solicitors injunction letter. I hope I don't see the c**t otherwise he is likely to have my spade wrapped round his head

He is not the owner of the land but the owners have agreed to appoint an independent surveyor to sort this out once and for all. Some concrete posts and an entry on both titles at the Registry should shut this idiot up for good. I am not the only one suffering his land grabs, ploughing out grass boundaries that have been there for generations.

Some people