Jokes & Funnies

[slinger]

I've had a brainwave, so...

I was thinking that the government should issue all of us with Morris Dancers' costumes. The bells would work to warn other people when we were coming and to keep clear, we could smack our staves together instead of shaking hands and still keep 2m apart, and we'd always have a couple of hankies to cover our coughs. There's also a pretty fair chance that most of us would be too embarrassed to be seen, so self-isolation would be a doddle.

Now we just need to figure out how to get rid of that f*cking button-accordion player.

[Colin Wonfor]

I stole this from another forum but it made me giggle so enjoy.

HOW I LEARNED TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS...

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients were shouting, ’13….13….13.’

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!
Then they all started shouting, ’14….14….14.’

[Latteman]

[slinger]

In the latest update from Downing Street, it has been announced that as from today the correct answer to the question "Why did the chicken cross the road?" will be "Because it was practising social distancing."

[savvypaul]

[CN211276]

I did not think Bob Dylan was metal.

[howardc1951]

There's a sign outside a house in L.A. which says "I've ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know."

[Lindsayt]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-52198946

Big surprise! David Icke thinks there's a link between 5G and Coronavirus.
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"During the interview, Mr Icke falsely claimed there "is a link between 5G and this health crisis".

And when asked for his reaction to reports of 5G masts being set on fire in England and Northern Ireland, he responded: "If 5G continues and reaches where they want to take it, human life as we know it is over... so people have to make a decision."

Several users subsequently called for further attacks on 5G towers in the comments that appeared alongside the feed.

Mr Icke also falsely claimed that a coronavirus vaccine, when one is developed, will include "nanotechnology microchips" that would allow humans to be controlled. He added that Bill Gates - who is helping fund Covid-19 vaccine research - should be jailed. His views went unchallenged for much of the two-and-a-half-hour show."


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Microsoft can't even produce an operating system that will work reliably on home computers. The chances of Microsft coming up with human comtrolling nano micro-chips that would actually work is nill!

The sad and funny thing is that there are people that believe this codswallop. Just goes to show, you can make up any old crap and some people will believe it.

In 10 years time, when 5G has been superceded by 6G and 7G, let's see how close we are to human life being over as we know it....

Edit and the trouble with banning videos like the David Icke interview is that the conspiracy theorists will say "It must be true as the people in power have suppressed it."

[slinger]

[slinger]