Jokes & Funnies
- slinger
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
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- savvypaul
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
"Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons".
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons".
- These users thanked the author valvesRus for the post (total 4):
- terrybooth (Mon Jan 11, 2021 2:32 pm) • slinger (Mon Jan 11, 2021 2:54 pm) • TheMarlin (Tue Jan 12, 2021 5:07 pm) • Fretless (Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:51 pm)
- slinger
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
After all these years I find THAT out, now it's too bloody late.
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- terrybooth (Tue Jan 12, 2021 6:21 pm)
Amps - NVA P50, AP30, A40, Stanislav Palo Tube Headphone Amp BB 85
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Analogue - Pro-Ject Debut Carbon Esprit SB, Graham Slee Gram Amp 2 Phono
Cans - Grado SR80, ATH-M50X
Speakers - Monitor Audio Silver RX2
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- terrybooth
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
Avoiding the obvious vulgarity, does it give guidance around the texture of the cheese to be deployed: soft, semi soft or hard?
A manchengo or a little pecorino, maybe?
A manchengo or a little pecorino, maybe?
Pioneer PL71/DL103/ Phono2/HiFiPi/P90SA/TIS/CubixPro
- savvypaul
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
My mate used to say...
'She's a Red Leicester, common and a bit bulky, but grateful to be picked up'
'She's a Red Leicester, common and a bit bulky, but grateful to be picked up'
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- terrybooth (Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:58 pm)
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
Modded Belles A150 MK2, P90SA, & NVA SSP cables, and LS5.
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Modded Lenco GL75 with Saturn arm, heavy custom plinth. Nagaoka MP500.
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Leak Stereo 20 & First Audio Classic Copper V2
Modded Lenco GL75 with Saturn arm, heavy custom plinth. Nagaoka MP500.
Nottingham Audio Hyperspace + heavy kit, + Origin Live Conqueror + Koetsu Black
Tom Evans Micro Grove MK2 MC phono
Bluesound Node2i (x2) both with latest power upgrades.
Topping D90MQA and Topping D90SE
Audiolab 6000 CDT transport.
All NVA cables
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
- These users thanked the author TheMarlin for the post (total 3):
- terrybooth (Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:37 pm) • Fretless (Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:53 pm) • slinger (Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:25 pm)
Modded Belles A150 MK2, P90SA, & NVA SSP cables, and LS5.
Leak Stereo 20 & First Audio Classic Copper V2
Modded Lenco GL75 with Saturn arm, heavy custom plinth. Nagaoka MP500.
Nottingham Audio Hyperspace + heavy kit, + Origin Live Conqueror + Koetsu Black
Tom Evans Micro Grove MK2 MC phono
Bluesound Node2i (x2) both with latest power upgrades.
Topping D90MQA and Topping D90SE
Audiolab 6000 CDT transport.
All NVA cables
Leak Stereo 20 & First Audio Classic Copper V2
Modded Lenco GL75 with Saturn arm, heavy custom plinth. Nagaoka MP500.
Nottingham Audio Hyperspace + heavy kit, + Origin Live Conqueror + Koetsu Black
Tom Evans Micro Grove MK2 MC phono
Bluesound Node2i (x2) both with latest power upgrades.
Topping D90MQA and Topping D90SE
Audiolab 6000 CDT transport.
All NVA cables
- slinger
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
- These users thanked the author slinger for the post:
- terrybooth (Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:10 pm)
Amps - NVA P50, AP30, A40, Stanislav Palo Tube Headphone Amp BB 85
Speakers - Monitor Audio Silver RX2
Cables - NVA LS1+LS3, SSC, Gotham S/PDIF, IBRA Optical
Digital - NAD C516BEE, SONY ST-SDB900 DAB TUNER, TEAC UD-H01 DAC
Analogue - Pro-Ject Debut Carbon Esprit SB, Graham Slee Gram Amp 2 Phono
Cans - Grado SR80, ATH-M50X
Speakers - Monitor Audio Silver RX2
Cables - NVA LS1+LS3, SSC, Gotham S/PDIF, IBRA Optical
Digital - NAD C516BEE, SONY ST-SDB900 DAB TUNER, TEAC UD-H01 DAC
Analogue - Pro-Ject Debut Carbon Esprit SB, Graham Slee Gram Amp 2 Phono
Cans - Grado SR80, ATH-M50X
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
- These users thanked the author TheMarlin for the post (total 2):
- slinger (Wed Jan 13, 2021 6:00 pm) • terrybooth (Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:10 pm)
Modded Belles A150 MK2, P90SA, & NVA SSP cables, and LS5.
Leak Stereo 20 & First Audio Classic Copper V2
Modded Lenco GL75 with Saturn arm, heavy custom plinth. Nagaoka MP500.
Nottingham Audio Hyperspace + heavy kit, + Origin Live Conqueror + Koetsu Black
Tom Evans Micro Grove MK2 MC phono
Bluesound Node2i (x2) both with latest power upgrades.
Topping D90MQA and Topping D90SE
Audiolab 6000 CDT transport.
All NVA cables
Leak Stereo 20 & First Audio Classic Copper V2
Modded Lenco GL75 with Saturn arm, heavy custom plinth. Nagaoka MP500.
Nottingham Audio Hyperspace + heavy kit, + Origin Live Conqueror + Koetsu Black
Tom Evans Micro Grove MK2 MC phono
Bluesound Node2i (x2) both with latest power upgrades.
Topping D90MQA and Topping D90SE
Audiolab 6000 CDT transport.
All NVA cables