Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

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Mississippi Blind Child Assburn
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Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

Unread post by Mississippi Blind Child Assburn »

First thing this wondrous Crimbo morning, Blind Child, gets up, puts the sweet ham on the frypan and turns on the fucking CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corp) on the radio - whose dial is broken and forever stuck on fuckin CBC - and you know wot Crimbo song they is playing?
No idea.
But its modern guff and the first words of joyous celebration - done to a background of sleighbells a-ringing - are some niggah absolutely WAILING, " ...and the malls are all open today!"

Now I ask you, is this wot Crimbo is all about? Crass consumerism?


No. Of course not.

Crimbo-eve is a most religious time when ,throughout all the villages and towns of beloved Leutonia, we Leutonians have come out NAKED and PURE beefwhore the wooden carving of mighty CHEEKO, god of PROG. Naked in the cold, gale-force winds we scourge ourselves beefwhore Magnificent Cheeko and recount his mighty deeds. In the pelting hail we gladly signify our thankfulness by doing our snake-like ,silurian dances. Our greased bodies slithering upon each other in elemental engagement. Lost to waves upon waves of frenzied exaltation . To the exclusion of nigh all else.

And thus we involk, hoary, bearded old Cheeko with smell of silt and silage and legs and tail of horse.


Crimbo in all its glory.

Now it should be noted that this Christ, this Santa....well they HARDLY go back in time as far as Cheeko do.
Why Santa is but a babe - there was no Santa in Victorian days. The Nonsense was yet to be engendered. (There WAS however a Kris Kringle - brought I believe out of Norway myth - and a Father Crimbo.)

But Cheeko! Now Mighty Cheeko has been around not only since pagan times, but from the Silurian Age itself!

A PROPER God and a PROPER Crimbo.


Another thing you should know: nowadays we celebrate Crimbo but one day of the year.
Back in early Victorian days -I am informed by Victorian Bakers tv program- not only were there the TWELVE DAYS of Crimbo (culminating into January's Twelfth Night (prog band name also) , but the lucky sods had as many as 44 annual holidays (which were succintly sheared down , by the onset of the fucking Industrial Revolution, to a mere "practical" four days.)


Well anyways.....today at me website, HOUSE OF FOX , we is celebrating Proper Crimbo wif proper Crimbo prog (& psych). Here is some of the playlist:

Foremost are the 3 cornerstone Crimbo prog lps"
JETHRO TULL - JETHRO TULL CHRISTMAS ALBUM
KEEFER EMERSON - EMERSON CHRISTMAS LP
GORDON GILTRAP - A MIDNIGHT CLEAR

Now wot makes these 3 special is not merely that they are musically superb, but that there is none of that well-worn Crimbo tunes here: its origional Crimbo-SOUND compositions, or, if traditional, then bent out of form so that they are hardly recognizabull as being so.

And wot makes the Tull special to us Leutonian Crimbo celebrants is the ancient take - going back even to pagan wyrdfolk "carols".

Here are some of the other individual tracks appropriate to the season which you will be hearing at House Of Fox:

STRAWBS - BENEDICTUS
MAGNA CARTA - the winter part of 'SEASONS" lp
SCHULZE - azotones
STEELEYE SPAN - gaudette - harvest
HORSLIPS - blow the cold wind awau
RALPH LUNDSTEN - much to pick from here
ROBIN WILLIAMSON - winter's turning
ELP - father christmas
MICHEAL ROTHER
ALBION BAND -songs from the shows vol 1 (last half of side 2 )
WICKERMAN SOUNDTRACK
PROKOFIEV - TROIKA
PROCOL HARUM - SHINE ON BRIGHTLY , CHRISTMAS CAmel
stray - sister mary
TURNER & KIRWIN - father Murphy
GILA - sacred

You might be thinking: "But Blind Child, much of that is not pwog at all. It's folk!"

Well, rest assured, Cheeko is okay with that.


......

Who wants to hear me web-wide celebrated classic: "12 Days of Crimbo"?

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scotty38
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Re: Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

Unread post by scotty38 »

Shove it up yer arse, cocksucker....

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Mississippi Blind Child Assburn
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Re: Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

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Dr Bunsen Honeydew
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Re: Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

Unread post by Dr Bunsen Honeydew »

Cut out the ad hominem, have fun and gentle piss take if you want.

Oh I forgot - Bah Humbug!

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Re: Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

Unread post by Latteman »

❄️Merry Christmas all🎄
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Re: Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

Unread post by Fretless »

Merry Christmas to music lovers everywhere.

And 'Hah Bum-hug' to Missy.

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Re: Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

Unread post by savvypaul »

Dr Bunsen Honeydew wrote: Tue Dec 25, 2018 4:02 pm Cut out the ad hominem, have fun and gentle piss take if you want.

Oh I forgot - Bah Humbug!
The OP could also desist from using terms such as 'niggah' or 'schwarzer 'without context or explanation.

His posts would be no less needy or childish for their removal.
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Re: Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

Unread post by Dr Bunsen Honeydew »

Missi is a product, like Jammy you wont change him as should be obvious. If the consensus is he not for us then so be it but at the moment the entertainment and genuine expert opinion on prog and music, if somewhat flavoured out weighs the discomfort some of his expressions create. I don't particularly like being called a cocksucker but I see it as term of endearment as much as insult.

We get them, Jammy and Andre overstepped, I wish they hadn't and they were still here, Jammy sadly now has burnt all his bridges at snakeoil. I hope we can all make allowances for Missi, and I hope he walks the tightrope with care. The last thing I want is for us to become a bland politically correct yawn fest like TAS.

I would prefer we don't turn this into a witch hunt or off topic the thread. If you have anything personal to say do it by PM to me or him.

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Re: Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

Unread post by Chopsaw54 »

scotty38 wrote: Tue Dec 25, 2018 3:26 pm Shove it up yer arse, cocksucker....
This gets my vote for post of the year :dance:

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Re: Merry Crimbo, cocksuckers!

Unread post by montechristo358 »

the tightrope was fallen off long ago, he's just pushing the envelope now to see how much rope you'll give him
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