Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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Mississippi Blind Child Assburn
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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Mississippi Blind Child Assburn » Fri Feb 08, 2019 2:25 pm

I'M NOT THERE

Six different actors portray six aspects of the unpinnable, enigmatic Bob Dylan persona. From hobo-minstrel to born-again preacher. (Was Dylan indeed a Christian minister at one point of his life or is this some fantasy they made up.)

Film is rather confusing to follow and best watched in short segments. To aid to the confusion , for some reason they didnt use the Dylan name and each actor has a DIFFERENT name. WTF? Are they out to intentionally confuse.

Can you see Richard Gere as Dylan? No foxing way. Mis-match of the year. Not sure he was even playing Dylan - in his segments it was back in some western town of America's past when Dylan wasn't even born. I guess they were unable to match Gere with Dylan-moves/face no matter how they tried and Gere himself wanted so bad to be in this movie that he gave them a billion dollars to make sure he was there; then they wrote a special script for him where he is something from the soundtrack Pat Garrett and Billy The Kid.

Other actors were Heath Ledger,Christian Bale,Marcus Franklin,Ben Whishaw and Cate Blanchett. The only one that came anywhere close was Blanchett and she should have got an award for her performance. She had his jittery moods,his arrogance, voice down pat. Most-importantly ,since Dylan's face was effeminate, she was the only actor that remotely looked like him - actually she looked EXACTLY like the young Dylan as we see him on the cover of Blonde On Blonde.



Blind Child thinks the title, "I'm Not There" refers to Dylan's being a whore. Its him saying, "I never was there. Never was totally into the folk, into the rock - those were just scenes I had to manipulate to get my songs thru to the public."

There is this interview with Joan Baez (not in the movie) where she rather bitterly and clearly stresses how Dylan coldly used her and the folk medium to further his career and once he was big just dropped all that protest folk, moving on to something else.



One thing was good to see in the movie is some actor portraying a furious Pete Seeger trying to axe the cables at the notorious Newport Festival; where Dylan went all electric on their asses.

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Mississippi Blind Child Assburn
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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Mississippi Blind Child Assburn » Fri Feb 08, 2019 2:29 pm

AFTER.LIFE

Ricci is nude in most of this film so you might want to watch for that reason - even though her titties are way disappointing.

She is in a car accident and wakes up on the slab in the basement of the funeral home. The funeral director tells her she is dead and that he can talk to the dead.

So you gotta take the movie one of two ways:

1/ she is NOT dead and the director is depraved/delusioned.

2/ she IS dead and the director really can talk to the dead, and according to the sixty -odd corpse photos on his wall he talked to all of those before they were put into the earth or cremated.



Facts to support #2:

a/from the car accident the only mark on her body is a cut above her eye. The director sews it shut but it does not bleed ,thus...she really is dead.

b/she is naked in the basement all the time but in his presense doesn't act as if she cares at all - way The Dead might be expected to act. (Or ,if she is alive then she must be an exhibitionist.)



c/some 4 days pass and she has not asked for water or food

d/ she seems to be resigned to her fate. Although she tries to stab the director to get away, she tries only once and its half-assed. Also half-assed are her escape trials -there are all sorts of surgical picks, knives, probably a saw somewhere down in that embalmer's basement ,yet she never tries to pick or work at the door. So , if she is really dead, this might fit: The Dead dont get upset easy,right? But ,then again, if she does not believe she is dead (as we are clearly led to believe at first) then it would be natural for her to try every means to get out of that basement when the director has left. She doesn't.



Facts to support #1:

a/ when a body is in an accident it doesn't go straight to a funeral home. A post-mortem is done at the hospital, THEN they call the funeral home. After the post-mortem you can be damn sure she is dead.

So then, as we see her all naked and fact that there are no post-mortem cuts on her head or body, we must assume SHE IS ALIVE and the xxxx-funeral director is fucking with her stupid brains.



Either way bottom line is this story is full of inconsistencies and flaws.



You are laughing.

Why does all this bother you,cocksucker?

Wot a geek you are.

Its only stupid American cinema.

Are you not expecting too much of it?



(Just sit back and enjoy Ricci's titter - even though, as I said, there is not much to enjoy on that front.)

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Mississippi Blind Child Assburn
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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Mississippi Blind Child Assburn » Fri Feb 08, 2019 2:41 pm

FEAR ITSELF season 1 Image

Suspense series with "top Hollywood talent" meaning actors and directors which done such marvels of cinema as "Saw" and "Chucky". FFS.
I watched 2 episodes and both were Shit Itself.
Fuck it -not watching anymore!

.....
At this point you have probably reverted to the old grievance: "Blind Jimmeh , you hate 90% of the films you review. Why are you watching them then?"

Well, I gets these films from library, sees?
I take wot comes.
All I gots to work from is the film title and actors (most names mean nothing to me cause its these new fly-by-night kid actors).
If the library - wot with all its technology - would do the proper thing and WARN ME WHICH OF THESE FILMS ARE AMERICAN, I would be saved lots of disappointment and actual visual PAIN & headache. I would be saved landing in the soup, loikes.

I mean, its not asking much: if its American just put a red turkey decal on the top right corner of the DVD or ,on library movie listings on the computer, put little flashing red turkey icons next the offending item.

Its not asking much to be warned, is it?

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Mississippi Blind Child Assburn
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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Mississippi Blind Child Assburn » Sun Feb 10, 2019 2:49 pm

MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE (2011, Us)

After escaping a commune cult where 2 males have friendliness-brainwashed a crew of simple skirts into doing farmwork and fucking them round the clock, Martha finds it difficult accepting her sister & sister's husband's lifestyle at a rented cottage. things get hairy when...


.................................

SIMIAN HYGENE, MY ASS! (2012)


Earth in the far, far,near future where orangutangs are in control is a violence-free place.

Humankind is made to scrape orangu ring piece (under threat of being tied down and eye-forced to watch ancient broadcasts featuring Harvey Wotshisname, Carol Burnett and Tim Conway.)



Things finally come to a boil when the last tree on earth is harvested and there is no longer a supply of toilet paper.



The ourangs inform humankind that they will now have to clean out ourang dirtchute using their own bamboo-fibre undercrackers.

This is the nutcracker that finally breaks the camel's balls and humankind rises as one with the call of "We're not gonna take it!"



Amidst this roil of action we are subtly brought into the small world of a (human) orphaned ourang-company bootlicker, No 2145678945, who becomes pawn to the machinations of the evil (ourangutang) split-crotch Panty-Bishop and his side-kick the (so evil that she remains nameless) Mortuary Nun.

As a movie critic, Blind Child found the sexual plaything scene to be quite unsatisfactory executed because the violence element was kept subdued (maybe because the plot demands a violence-free ourang society? - now whose feckin' idea was THAT?). By toning down this important scene I'm afraid the director made the mistake of over-estimating your average casual , impatient yahoo-American movie goer who will doubtless suffer the fits of attention span disorder on "enduring" this drawn-out scene.

This rather spotty production chronicles the exploits of No. 2145678945, who regards himself as somewhat of an individual. That is the main plot of the fascinating story.



I wont spill all the beans but my fav part is where, after stealing the corpse shit, the Mortuary Nun and No. 2145678945 make for it in a souped-up Berlingo with a Ed Gwynn ("Car 54 Where Are You?")-faced ourang-cop in hot pursuit. It is here where the usually utterly drab soundtrack by Danny Elfmann, really shines.



Rated "R" for general Rubbish (and the Elfmann "yo-yo walk-the-dog" opening theme music.)



Smoothly directed by some xxxx or other and set in Nazi-run Lower Mongolia in the 1930's.



Most visually-inspiring moment? - the eerily-effected part when the Tim Hortons flying saucer turns into a giant pair of Lawrence Welk's false teeth.



Origionally titled (in Spanish) "I cum in Peace".



Features Burl Ives as the Split-Crotch Panty-Bishop, Sid James as Mortuary Nun.



6 thumbs-up out of ten (for the brilliant casting alone)

........................................
THE CAT O' NINE TAILS (Italy, '71)

Italian Hitchcock, Dario Argento's second movie.
A blind maker of puzzles (Karl Malden) investigates a break-in at a genetics research institute near his apartment.
Uncovering twisted sexual mysteries.
Not bad, Jimmehs. (But no "Suspiria")

..............................................

KITCHEN STORIES (SWEDEN, 2003)
These strange Swedes!
Why would they even THINK of making a movie like this?
For one thing: no women!
NY Post says:" quirky, thoughtfull,witty and bittersweet comedy". Bittersweet and charming - yes, but thoughtful and witty? How can something be witty when the first half of the movie has very limited dialogue and when all the dialogue is sparse sentences/common every-day talk???


Its Sweden in the 50s. A floatilla of "observers" are sent out to the countryside, each with their own dinky tailer in tow.

Swedish efficiency & "home science" is at work here: they just finished a study where they put observers in kitchens and for months on end plotted the daily movements of women in their kitchens. From this info they figured out what kitchen things (toasters, fridge,sink) should be placed next to each other for maximum efficiency so the women "instead of having to walk in one year from Sweden to the Congo, walk say to the Mediterranean".

Well, like Blind Chile said, the movie has nothing to do with women because as the movie starts the focus has now become MEN's use of the kitchen and for some unexplained reason the study has chosen "hosts" - farmers living with no wives .

Cranky old Norweigian Isak has agreed to let the most-diligent, Swedish efficiency expert "observer" set up his high-chair pedastal in the corner of the kitchen and "observe" him for a month. He does this under the understanding that he will get a horse from the govt. But when he finds out the promised horse is a wooden children's plaything, he makes it difficult for the timid observer by doing as little as possible in the kitchen and observing the observer thru a hole in the ceiling.
The observer is under strict instructions not to interact with his subject

It gets hard on the observer as it becomes clear the sly old Isak is amusing himself (its winter, so he has all the time in the world) by impeding the research.

Things finally get civil when - in silence - the observer pipe smoker offers the Norweigian pipesmoker some of his special blend tobacco in a conciliatory move..
They become good friends and the observer loosens up so much that ,when his boss comes to check up on him, the observer is fired.

Isak's one horse that he depends upon so much starts bleeding from the nose and has to be knackered. Isak gets a stroke from this catastrophe. The penniless observer decides to stay with his unlikely Norweigian friend.

That's about it.

Good film though. Nominated for Cannes.

....................................
HARPER'S ISLAND (2009, us)


Slasher/mystery is really quite good with suspense-dial turned up to 8 or so.
Blind Chile is about 5 hours into this gripping 9 hour series and so far I gots no idea who the killer can be.
This series moves at a brisk pace and really keeps you on the edge of your seat and wanting to go into the next episode. A few good twists.

A rather secluded community (for rich tourists) on a very picturesque forested island off Seattle ,Washington is the setting.
Lots of characters make this film rather challenging as to figuring out the killer.
Lotta deaths too -must been 10 by now and still the sherrif has not called in the mainland police to help as things are all clearly out of control.

Yep - lotta stupid things like that happening.
Here's another example: daughter & father bicycling IN THE FOREST and the father's bike wheel hits a tripwire sending a mothering-big trunk swinging and knocking him off the bike. Daughter also, even though she was clearly BEHIND him. They are knocked out for a short while then get up and walk away WITH NO THOUGHT OF LOOKING BACK AND SEE WHAT HIT THEM OR IF THEY CAN SALVAGE THEIR BIKES.

One thing for sure - when we find out who the killer is, its gotta be some superman (for sure not a woman) who can be stringing up these heavy bodies and tree trunk-traps and hauling bodies ten feet up a vertical incline and harpooning them into place.

Story goes that some 7 years earlier a maniac hung 7 people on the same tree. Case was solved and body buried. But Im getting the feeling the sherrif is lying and thats another body in the grave.

Anyways, you wanna see this if only for the beautiful redwood-like island scenery.

Main actor, Gorman has this thing about glaring off into the distance when delivering his lines.

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Fretless
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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Fretless » Sun Feb 10, 2019 7:14 pm

Try this, Missy. You'll love it

The Isle (Korea)

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Fretless » Sun Feb 10, 2019 7:21 pm

Try this, Missy. You'll love it

The Isle (Korea)

Image

Also highly recommended 'Shokuzai'

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Mississippi Blind Child Assburn
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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Mississippi Blind Child Assburn » Tue Feb 12, 2019 12:10 am

RITES OF SPRING (2011 us)

If there is a paralell world, I hope its less mongloid than this one.

What they have done to music is this - made it succinct and to serve its main purpose - to be convenient and get to the point (cos mongloids have short attention-span). This music has no preamble, it goes pretty-well straight to the lame chorus. It has been called "microwave music".

The same is happening to film. You get these ass-fucked monster/slasher films where NOTHING is explained by way of the monster's genesis and you go straight into the 90 minutes of fucking run-rabbitt-run.

Fuck America and fuck this world.

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Engypoos » Tue Feb 12, 2019 7:52 am

But let's start with America.
😃

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Mississippi Blind Child Assburn
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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Mississippi Blind Child Assburn » Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:45 pm

sOME OF YOUSE MAY HAVE NOTICED: bLIND cHILD HAS not RECENTLY VIEWED MANY OF THESE MOVIES.
I'M PULLING MY REVIEWS SLOWLY FROM FIRKHAM HALL, BEEFWHORE IT CLOSES DOWN ALTOGETHER.

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Mississippi Blind Child Assburn
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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

Unread post by Mississippi Blind Child Assburn » Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:46 pm

THE ATTIC....SUMMART (2001, US)

Only good thing here is the acting of horror actor ,Jeffrey Combes (re-Animator, Beyond)


Grossly over-complex,disjointed plot because I had no idea wot was going on because its like those over-written asshole mysteries which you dont even want to bother figuring out because after first halfhour you are asleep because I didnt bother to work this one out or re-watch because I get the distinct feel the writer of this toss himself didnt even try to make all the open ends meet because he is out to bamboozle us Dylan-Tarantula-wise from the outset because he is a failed writer getting paid lots for this shoite script because wot the fuck am I doing wasting my time reviewing this ass-leaving.

That creamboy that played Dr Evil's son in Austin Powers stars here. (And a totally bad-acting Alice Cooper shows up for a minute or two.)

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