Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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MRS AMWORTH (uk)

Small English village is coming down with a strange wasting-away disease.
Ever since the bubbly & genial Mrs Amworth moved in.
Doctors dont know what it is and blame the bites from an unusual amount of gnats this year.
But Mr Urkhart knows better.

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Ployz git daahn oan me knob.

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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RED LIGHTS (2012, US)


Sigourney Weaver is out to expose paranormal hoaxers. In all her 30 years she has not seen single evidence of the paranormal.

Robert de Niro as the blind psychic Silver, returns to stage after 30 years absence. He appears to be the real thing. He agrees to be studied during his "miracles" by complete electrical, magnetic etc scientific monitoring. Even so he manages to cast thought pictures onto an old polaroid camera (but not a digital one). He reads another's mind and gets the correct numbers. The head of the science dept (or wotever - I didnt bother to dig too deeply in this utterly boring film) is about ready to sign the papers saying supernatural indeed exists. But at last second a student of Weaver's figures out how Silver did the numbers trick.
BUT all the same small electrical-type supernatural things ARE happening....



I find Weaver as plain and unpleasant as all fox.
Every role she plays the same - herself.
Grossly over-rated.
Was highest paid actress at one point




I'D POUND HER ASS,,,HER FACE DOWN IN A PILLOW -ZAKO

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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IN A GLASS CAGE (Spain, '87)


Sick movie.

ex-Nazi doctor, living in cognito in Spain, who commited terrible acts against concentration camp boys, is now incapacitated/kept alive in an iron lung.

Angelo, a handsome young man, offers to be nurse.

Turns out the boy is more perverse than the patient.

Angelo has somehow found the pervert's wartime diaries - either it was never explained how, or I wasn't bothered :its a slow rather tedious, predictable movie.
The boy jacks off on the patients head, opens up the iron lung and mounts the old man as he is gasping for air.Kills the oldman's wife, and gets the young daughter to call him her father.
Then he starts bringing young boys in ,whose hearts he injects with air in needles and forces the old man (to take pleasure) in watching them in torment for 5 minutes before they die.
Angelo says he admires the old man's "studies" and wants to continue where he left off.
The old man's shame reverts to the old sexual desire.

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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OUR WHINNIE ('82, uk)


Written by Alan Bennett, who ,as I mentioned in the alice In Wonderland, was part of the comedy group, Beyond The Fringe.
Only this somewhat sombre short film is decidedly not a comedy.

An afternoon in which a woman and her retarded, childlike 20 year old daughter go to Lancshire cemetary to tend to the husband's grave.

Very simply & directly told, very subtle music background, if any -this is the kind of style the British are real adept at. Reminds me in theme and filming style of that most excellent TV series on H.E.Bates short stories called Country Matters.

Featuring a young Jim Broadbent (decades before he won his academy award) and an actress I really admire, Elizabeth Spriggs as the mother.

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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INNOCENCE (2004, BELGIUM)


No, this is not that exceptional film, The Innocents based on the Henry James horror novel, Turn Of The Screw.

This is something altogether different.

A beautifully-filmed "artsy" piece . Simple and slow, but even so ,engrossing because you have no idea where it is going.

What appears to be a self-contained world - 5 houses within a totally-walled forested "park". These are exclusively for the education of little girls: botany & ballet...and that is all.

So many great films are told from a child's point of view. The adults - what few there are - within this mysterious finishing-school microcosm/trial learning utopia , are almost faceless in this film, not developed, almost unnecessary.

There are apparently no males in this walled park - two older whitehaired women servants (who we are told will be punished if they do not perform correctly: for "Obedience is necessary for happiness."). Two young women seem to run the show and there is a distant headmistress of which we see little.

The girls are from 8 - 13 years old. When they become 13 they are lead out of the little paradise-enclave into where, the younger children are not informed. They do not know their own fate. They are fed well and taken good care of ,but they are not allowed to attempt escape. Two girls tried and ended up dead, but we are not told HOW they died - of their own blunder, or something more nefarious.
This constant mystery makes for troubling elements to the film.

At first I thought maybe this was a closed world because some plague had driven all the males mad on a killing spree, so some organization was trying to keep this seemingly select-chosen group of 5 houses of about 10 girls each safe from the outside madness.
But its not this - as revealed by the end of the film.

The main girl of the "story" arrives at this sequestered world IN A COFFIN. When it opens she is greeted only by little girls. Later she tells one of the two young women she wants to leave, asking where her brother is. She is told she will never see him again.



Yes, I WILL spoil it for you: nothing indeed is revealed ,even at the movie's end. Its all open to your own interpertation. The woman who made this film ,made it so on purpose,indeed has no explanations , believing that those films which stay longest in the viewer's mind, are those which the viewer had to partially (or, as in this case, pretty well totally) interpert for himself.

Everything is veiled in this film. Everything unexplained so as to leave the audience lost and not sure of the moral - even if there ever was one. Re-imagining for oneself, makes the film stay in the mind longer.

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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tHE INVISIBLE WOMAN (1941, US)


After success of Claude Rains in James Whale's Invisible Man, stoopit Hollywood Jews did same wot they still do today: ran a series of 5 "invisible" wotsit movies.

This one is lighthearted with good cast. (Good thing they didn't have actor Oscar Homolka invisible cos those bushy eyebrows would have been difficult.) Crone wot played Wicked Witch of West in Oz is the Zany professor's housekeeper here. Shemp (of 3 Stooges) plays a dummy gangster.

Plot goes something like this: Proffessor invents invisibility machine but needs a human subject so as to persuade his rich benefactor. Only one person answers his ad. Unbenownst to him, this Kim is a female -a gorgeous model who wants invisibility for an hour or two so as to get back at her slave-driver boss. Well sir, of course she has to get buck naked for the invisibility to be "detected" and I guess this was sorta taboo in 1941. But wot gets me is how they got away with this:
she gets revenge on the bully by frightening him into unconsciousness then fucking him and cutting off his dick. But she is in such a hurry she exits the crime with the portion of dick still in her tight gash. Of course the dick isnt invisible - and that is how the police locate her.

Way ahead of its time.

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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IRON SKY (Finland, Australia & Germany, 2012)


Wot with comedy and sci-fi being exact antipoles, it is a brave production that takes on making a comedo-scifi movie. So - yeah - this is doomed to failure.

This is just case in point as three countries working on this film fail to make it anything but silly.

On top of that, much of the dialogue is in German (cos your dealing with space-Nazi's afterall) so you have to read the translations.

Over the last 80 wot decades, the Nazi's have built up an Empire on the dark side of the moon and America hasn't a clue. The Nazi space cowboys are out to take back control of earth!

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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SIBERIA (2018,US)

Insufferable.

Keenu Reeves.

Say no more.

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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UNFORTUNATE SUMERIAN BARSTARDABIAN COCK SITUATION (Sumeria, 2012)


sUMERIAN bARSTARDABIAN males wake up one morning to find their cocks unexplicably bursting into flame!
It is discovered that the only way to put out the crotch fire is to have cocks sucked by handsome South Croydon mens.
(The road towards how this problem is finally solved takes up the main plot of the film - and I wont spoil it for you.)

Good soundtrack is composed only of solo cymbalom, jews-harp and well-recorded sounds of barnyard animals rutting.




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LE SANG DES BETES ('49, france)


Mebbe the first shockumentary

"Blood of the Beasts" ,cockers.

Look it up on you tube.

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REMOTE TERROR ISLAND (Japan, '69)


After a shipwreck 10 BigTit female Big Tit vampire hunters find themselves stranded, with only one g-string to share amongst them, on an island far, far from usual ship routes.

And, guess wot? The island is occupied only by a tribe of feral Big Tit female vampires!

They must be staked .

But first nipple-clampings and nipple-pulls are in order.


Not very good when it comes to dialogue.


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DEATH LAID AN EGG ('68, ITALY)


Gina Lolabrigida giallo.


Moreloike Italy Laid An Egg

sucks egg

Murder in the poultry industry. fucksake.

Wish I could remember the clowns that gave me these dope film suggestions. (Thinks some came from Waxidermy forum. That fits.)

Bin watching solid shoite of late.

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INSTITUTE BENJAMINTA ('95, UK)


Has the dark look of some Check films Blind Chile has seen : moody, slow, very depressing. Black and white like the dull life it portrays.

Most films & shorts by the twin Brothers Quay are very sparse on dialogue, not this one. Quite a bit of of half-alive, sad, first person commentary.

Jakob enters an institute for the training of servants.
"There is but one lesson here endlessly repeated - we will not amount to much later in life. We shall all be something very small and subordinate."
He begins to challange the headmistress.

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Re: Movie/series wot Blind Chile just watched

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The Forbidden Room (Canada,2015)


Awright geeezzaa! Guy Maddin is Winnipeg director ov loolally/disturbin' movies.

A never-befawer-seen woodsman mysteriously appears aboard a submarine that's been trapped deep under water fer months wiv an unstable cargo o' jelly. As da terrified crew make their way fruff da corridors ov da doomed vessel, they find 'emselves on a voyage in'er da origins ov their darkest fears.


Captivity, murda, amnesieur. Virgin relic sacrifice ta sahth seas islan' "valcano". Blurry picture,shakey effects, silent films ereur anti-talkies disturbance.
Totally feckered-up. A dream. A nightmare.
Its orl 'eear.


Sorted mate.


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the mill (2013, uk) season one


iNTERESTING look at child labour in cotton textile mill in Lancaster in 1830s Industrial Revolution. Based on true stories.

Times are a-changing and there is pressure to change 18 hour forced child labour to 12 hour.

The Parliament FILTH votes to keep it at 18, but -in the great generosity of fairness - they allot investigators to check on factories to make note of any abuses - FOUR of them for the whole of England.(But thats not what this series is about.)

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UNEXPLAINED LAUGHTER ('89, uk)


Quite good made-for-tv movie.
A cynical journalist (Diana Rigg) and her female publisher friend vacation in Wales in a remote cottage. She hears laughter in the cottage and surrounding landscape whilst others do not. When she asks a local if the cottage has a history or is haunted she gets the ambiguous answer that most cottages in Wales are haunted.
Not so much a scarry story - and certainly not horror - but gentle comedy-ominousness , if you can imagine such a combination. The errie laughter is almost incidental to the story here. Nice mood and you just gotta use an oboe in an slow-going, atmospheric supernatural story. Some intelligent dialogue too.

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GHENGIS COHN ('92, uk)


Good black comedy.

Weasel-faced , 1930's cheap music-hall-type Jewish comedian dies in Treblinka concentration camp. 30 years later his ghost returns to exact precise revenge on the commander of the shooting squad - now police chief in an Austrian town (played very well by actor Robert Lindsay).
There is a serial killing going on in the town that the police chief does not seem to have a handle on - men are killed with a butcher's knife whilst in the act of copulation. They all die instantaneously with a smile on their face. Their sex partners cannot identify the swift killer - only a dark mass.

The police chief appears to be losing it - he is seen leaving the horny German (Diana Rigg) baroness' house in full Nazi commander regalia, he is talking to the unseen, he is eating Jewish food (like sour pickles and chopped liver ON RYE), he is letting slip Yiddish words (Like schtoof and meshuggah).

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KINGDOM COME (2014, US)


There is expensive film SHIT and there is SHIT done on the cheap (like this one).
Shit is shit, but question is: which is the worse?

I would venture to say it is worse to spend a load of money frivolously to render the same result as spending min. money. It is a sin of waste of money,effort and time.
Still, you can argue that a cheapo film is worse since it does not have the ambition to go beyond the two dollar production mark, so in this way it is an insult to the audience in that it feels the average audience has low expectations and will take THIS ($2-3 dollar production) SHIT.

...
Another run-rabbit-run horror film.

Almost no special effects only actors on all fours dressed up as shabby demons.

The set costs nothing since the plot is sinners caught in a hell that is merely the INSIDE of a dilapidated hospital where all we have is empty rooms and hallways that go nowhere (and no stairwells or exits). The one glimpse we get of outside is nothing more than fog and a couple of pine tree tops ( that they took from the backroom Christmas tree selection at the local reuse .)

Fuck this movie.
Shit on it.

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what we do in the shadows (2014, nEW zEALAND)


sICKO HORROR-COMEDY.
nOT BAD BUT NOT AS GOOD A fLIGHT oF tHE cONCHORDS.

A NZ documentary on 4 modern day vampires (and a bloke named Stu) living in a New Zealand castle . The aristo-vampire complains that the others are not doing their bit, heeding his household chores wheel - for instance the dishes and goblets have not been washed of blood in five years. There is the vain Nazi-vampire and the Vlad Tepes-like vampire who used to be into torture bigtime but no so much anymore and the deadly 6000 year-old king-daddy vampire wot looks like Nosferatu and does not speak.

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PENNY DREADFUL (2014, ) season 1

Gorefest, Gothic horror-drama set in Victorian London.
Decadent, dark, disturbing.

This appears to have the central theme of the quest for eternal life because it is merging literature's horror classics that were all into this: vampires, Dr. Frankenstein's creature (here called Proteus),Wilde's Dorian Gray, Egyptian mysticism. (I'm surprized they did not weave in Jekyll and Hyde as well.)

So, exactly like the over-wrought True Blood series, there are too many different creatures about (so that your disbelief is suspended from the start) , too many - unnecessary - sub plots.

Wonderfully acted and staged, but , in the end, silly and too much of the repeated same old, same old. These series are all suffering from being made OVER-LONG. There is a reason why cinematic things should NOT be dragged-out more than a few hours total.

Blind Chile do understand this is now into its 4th season!


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JAUJA (2015)


"One of the best films of the year"

Hahaha! One of the frick fricken slowest MOVIES OF THE CENTURY, CHRISSAKES!


"A DREAM-WESTERN"
"a MODERNIST BLEND OF MYTH, POLITICS AND EXISTENTIAL ADVENTURE"


Ahhhhhaha! No myth.
No politics.

Nothing but sheer boredom.

In late 1800s a Dane and his 15 yr old daughter out on the remote Patagonian desert.
The girl runs off with a young man and the father crosses the wasteland trying to find her.

"SUPERB PERFORMANCE BY VIGGO MORTENSEN" - Yeah, all he does is walk and ride a horse.

Fucksake! After he finds out the daughter has left in the night, you see him getting on his pants and suspenders for 3 full minutes - THAT is the sort of movie this shit is.


Unbelievable.

All of a handful of characters.
Basically no soundtrack whatsoever.

Spanish & Danish. English subtitles.

Nothing.

Fuck off.

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