A dwarf was drinking in a bar when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said "I’ve always wanted to have sex with a little person" The dwarf replied, "I’m sorry, but I’ve had women say that before then I go home with them and the husband or boyfriend finds out and I get beaten up" ...

A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in... Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. "Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!" The wife, startled at her husband's violent reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter. "Y...

Has nobody yet blamed the bad weather on leaving the EU?

A fellow in the Maritime Provence of Canada was concerned that his Wife failed to return home after a night out with her Girlfriends. The next day a couple of Mounties came to his door and told him that they had some bad news but also some good news and some very good news. He said "Did you fin...

Condoms and coffins both contain stiffs.

One's coming and the other's going.

This looks a fair buy: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lenovo-IdeaPad-Chromebook-Laptop-i3-1115G4/dp/B0C9LZKS83/ref=sxin_12_recs_zoco_stores_brand_identity_bs?content-id=amzn1.sym.ecc1ecf8-8d1c-4bbd-b655-da936e24b538%3Aamzn1.sym.ecc1ecf8-8d1c-4bbd-b655-da936e24b538&crid=3PSKCUVUINCRK&cv_ct_cx=lenov...

A Chromebook sounds ideal for your needs.
Cheaper than Windows for a similar performance so you'd have more money left to buy hifi.

I know it's a long shot but do any of you know what a trebuchet is?

Being intolerant of extremism makes me an extremist - or have I misunderstood the government's ruling?

I spent all morning looking for the dog after it ran off without success.
Wife said I need to look harder.
After shaving my head and getting a tattoo I still can't find the dog.