ATTENTION: NEW COMPUTER VIRUS ALERT! C-Nile Virus is so rampant that even the most advanced anti-virus programs cannot take care of it. C-Nile virus appears to attack based on information gathered from your computer system...primarily your birth date. Those born on or before 1-1-1960 seem to be the ...

2 men fishing in a boat, one on each side. Every time one casts his line he immediately gets a bite but the other doesn't catch anything. The one who keeps catching the fish, feeling for his friend, suggests they swap sides which they do. The one who was catching all the fish keeps catching them whi...

Teenager for sale. Comes with rolling eyes, deep sighs and sarcastic comments. Capable of playing video games for hours on end, not getting up in the morning and texting at 200 words per minute. No reasonable offer refused.

governmentium The heaviest chemical element yet known to science. Governmentium (Gv) has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by va...

I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I didn't like my attitude and I caught myself drinking on the job.

New research finds that 10 out of 9 people are bad at maths.

I met a girl in the pub who told me that if I went outside with her she'd show me a good time. So we went outside and she ran 100 metres in 4.5 seconds.

I was walking through the town the other day when I found a man lying in the gutter.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"Yes " he replied. "I was so surprised to find a parking space I sent the wife home to get the car."

Not been out for a bit. Anyone know if Woolworths, C&A and Blockbusters still have the same opening hours?

I remember those North Kent coast winters from when I lived in Whitstable during the 60s. Wind direct from Sweden! We moved down to the South Cornwall coast in 2002. I think we've only seen snow about twice since then.