Search found 217 matches

by howardc1951
Sat Feb 27, 2021 12:18 am
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Jokes & Funnies
Replies: 962
Views: 138731

Re: Jokes & Funnies

ATTENTION: NEW COMPUTER VIRUS ALERT! C-Nile Virus is so rampant that even the most advanced anti-virus programs cannot take care of it. C-Nile virus appears to attack based on information gathered from your computer system...primarily your birth date. Those born on or before 1-1-1960 seem to be the ...
by howardc1951
Wed Feb 24, 2021 2:35 pm
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Jokes & Funnies
Replies: 962
Views: 138731

Re: Jokes & Funnies

2 men fishing in a boat, one on each side. Every time one casts his line he immediately gets a bite but the other doesn't catch anything. The one who keeps catching the fish, feeling for his friend, suggests they swap sides which they do. The one who was catching all the fish keeps catching them whi...
by howardc1951
Tue Feb 23, 2021 9:01 pm
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Jokes & Funnies
Replies: 962
Views: 138731

Re: Jokes & Funnies

Teenager for sale. Comes with rolling eyes, deep sighs and sarcastic comments. Capable of playing video games for hours on end, not getting up in the morning and texting at 200 words per minute. No reasonable offer refused.
by howardc1951
Tue Feb 23, 2021 12:11 am
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Jokes & Funnies
Replies: 962
Views: 138731

Re: Jokes & Funnies

governmentium The heaviest chemical element yet known to science. Governmentium (Gv) has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by va...
by howardc1951
Fri Feb 19, 2021 12:51 am
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Jokes & Funnies
Replies: 962
Views: 138731

Re: Jokes & Funnies

I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I didn't like my attitude and I caught myself drinking on the job.
by howardc1951
Tue Feb 16, 2021 1:03 am
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Jokes & Funnies
Replies: 962
Views: 138731

Re: Jokes & Funnies

New research finds that 10 out of 9 people are bad at maths.
by howardc1951
Sun Feb 14, 2021 8:45 pm
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Jokes & Funnies
Replies: 962
Views: 138731

Re: Jokes & Funnies

I met a girl in the pub who told me that if I went outside with her she'd show me a good time. So we went outside and she ran 100 metres in 4.5 seconds.
by howardc1951
Sat Feb 13, 2021 2:37 pm
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Jokes & Funnies
Replies: 962
Views: 138731

Re: Jokes & Funnies

I was walking through the town the other day when I found a man lying in the gutter.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"Yes " he replied. "I was so surprised to find a parking space I sent the wife home to get the car."
by howardc1951
Thu Feb 11, 2021 6:48 pm
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Jokes & Funnies
Replies: 962
Views: 138731

Re: Jokes & Funnies

Not been out for a bit. Anyone know if Woolworths, C&A and Blockbusters still have the same opening hours?
by howardc1951
Sun Feb 07, 2021 7:07 pm
Forum: Admin-Intro-Chitchat
Topic: Bloody weather
Replies: 87
Views: 13708

Re: Bloody weather

I remember those North Kent coast winters from when I lived in Whitstable during the 60s. Wind direct from Sweden! We moved down to the South Cornwall coast in 2002. I think we've only seen snow about twice since then.